


How To Waste A Class Period (or: Gray has regrets)

by Writing_Bearifficly



Category: Carmen Sandiego (Cartoon 2019)
Genre: Conspiracy Theories, Crack Treated Seriously, Gen, Moon Landing, dr bellum uses tumblr insults, gray is just a desperate idiot, nobody actually believes it's fake
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-30
Updated: 2020-10-30
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:55:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27275284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Writing_Bearifficly/pseuds/Writing_Bearifficly
Summary: When Gray has a rough day, he decides to take Tech 101 as a breather from the chaos of academy life.Only as it turns out, Dr. Bellum isreallyserious about the moon landing.
Comments: 11
Kudos: 160





	How To Waste A Class Period (or: Gray has regrets)

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [They Definitely Have A Group Chat](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23203132) by [So_u_like_pkmn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/So_u_like_pkmn/pseuds/So_u_like_pkmn). 



Gray was having a rough day.

VILE Academy was great, sure. He loved it here! He was learning so much about the art of theft, he made some great friends, life was good...

But it was also a _lot_ of work. He had to be on top of everything; the Faculty made it clear that slacking off would not be tolerated, and that students needed to put their all into their classes. It wasn't a bad thing, but it was overwhelming.

(He tried asking Black Sheep how she cooled down after a long school day once. She quickly changed the subject.)

He let out a sigh as he sat down at his desk in Dr. Bellum's classroom. He didn't really want to _learn_ today, just so he could have a break from the fast paced life of the Academy...

...and then a light bulb went off.

Dr. Bellum was notorious for ripping into students who didn't believe in certain science subjects. If he could get her ranting, it would certainly delay class a bit. He just needed to find the trigger subject.

Black Sheep slipped into her seat next to him, and he leaned over to her. "You know the Faculty better than anyone in this class, right?" Nobody was entirely sure how she was so darn familiar with the Faculty, and she always evaded questions about it, so he wasn't going to push. He just needed intel, anyway.

Black Sheep blinked at him. "Yeah...?"

"How would you go about getting Dr. Bellum to waste a class period?"

Black Sheep stared at him blankly, then grew a wicked grin and leaned in closer. "Space is really touchy," she whispered. "She's insistent that Pluto is a planet - she's right, by the way - and being told it's not _will_ set her off. Also, conspiracy theories."

Gray nodded as Dr. Bellum called the class to attention, then said, just loud enough to be overheard, "I can't believe you think the moon landing actually happened."

The class fell into silence, absolutely terrified of what was inevitably going to occur. Dr. Bellum stared at him blankly, trying to figure out if she heard him correctly.

"I'm sorry," she said after a few moments of silence. "What was that you said?"

Gray cleared his throat. "I mean, the moon landing was obviously fake, right? If they had the technology to supposedly get humans to the moon, surely they had the technology to fake it?"

The class was totally staring at him, he could feel it. Dr. Bellum stared at him blankly, trying to process what he just said.

(For what it was worth, he did in fact believe in the moon landing. People who didn't were drongos, and he stood by that. He was just desperate.)

Dr. Bellum walked up to him and slammed her hand on his desk. Then, after an agonizingly long time, she spoke. "You idiot. You absolute buffoon."

He had never heard Dr. Bellum speak in that tone before. Something in it told him he screwed up, but he refused to waver. "What?"

Dr. Bellum blinked at him. "Are you not hearing yourself? Do you know how _moronic_ what you just said is? I swear, if the moon landing is fake, I will actually sacrifice every last one of you, so help me--" She moved to her computer and frantically started typing at it. "NASA did _not_ have the technology to fake it, do you even _know_ how technology progresses? Quite obviously not how you think. Do you only read clickbait?" She started rambling on about the technology of the 1960's, and Gray knew his plan worked.

He snuck a glance to Black Sheep, who was shaking, head buried in her arms, desperately trying to hide her laughter. She glanced up at him, a look on her face that just _screamed_ , "you screwed up, mate."

And judging by Dr. Bellum freaking out, she was totally right.

"Besides the fact that they didn't have the technology to fake it, all the science lines up." She pulled up a picture of an imprint of a boot. "The bootprint, for instance - and _no_ , that is not Neil Armstrong's bootprint, you clickbait video promising cats where there are none, his boot had a different tread. _That_ is Buzz Aldrin's boot. Due to space being a vacuum, and moon dust having an irregular shape, the print cements like wet sand, it does _not_ work the same way as sand here on Earth. Honestly, have you even seen _MythBusters_? Read Snopes? Used, oh, I don't know, the _internet?!_ One simple Google search debunks everything you use as proof of the moon landing being fake! How can you fall for such a flimsy lie, when all the evidence is right there in front of your face?! Are you a mole? Too blind to even see it? No, don't answer that. Even a mole helps the garden thrive; a _mole_ is more useful than you, no offense, El Topo!"

El Topo was wheezing; Gray assumed he wasn't offended.

"And _another_ thing--"

There was a knock at the door. Gray turned just in time to see Professor Maelstrom walk in. "Dr. Bellum, _what_ is going on in here? I can hear you all the way from down the hall."

"Shut up, Gunnar!" Dr. Bellum snapped. "I'm educating an idiot!" She grabbed a rubber band and shot Maelstrom in the forehead. "This expired coupon thinks the moon landing is fake!"

...yeah, Gray definitely screwed up. He'd be lucky to walk out of this alive.

On the bright side, class was _definitely_ cancelled.

Maelstrom let out a sigh. "Please, do try to keep it down," he said, and left the room.

Once the door was closed, Dr. Bellum snapped her gaze back to Gray. "And, you unnecessary movie sequel, did you know that there are retroreflectors left on the moon by the Apollo missions? Such devices would need to be manually placed there to ensure they don't break and to get a read. NASA has gotten reads off of those retroreflectors, _exactly_ where they were told they would be. It is literally impossible for it to have been done remotely, you inconvenient fire drill. I swear if you say anything this stupid again I will steal all the iron from your veins and use it to get you to the moon to prove that it's been done, how dumb _are_ you, you dollar store with regular pricing--"

Black Sheep was crying now, laughing too hard. "I can't breathe," she managed to get out. "This is too funny, you actually got her going, oh my goodness I _can't_ \--"

Gray rolled his eyes and tuned Dr. Bellum out as she started talking about the flag waving. At least he knew the rumors of Dr. Bellum ripping into students was _true_. Though how Black Sheep figured it out, he wasn't sure.

Well, at least he knew how to get out of class.


End file.
